Comments : Hmm

  • 15 years ago

    by The Shadowlust Inside Me

    This is a nice piece of writing.. although it is not quite a poem.. its more of a inner thought monologue.. I like it.. i feel the emotion and reality of it.. and one day these things will go away.. trust me.. the bad is always followed by the good my dear serina

    -shadowlust-

  • 15 years ago

    by Kuro

    This would flow a bit easier if you break it up into stanzas and lines. like this:
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    The world is not like i expected it to be.
    I am surrounded by idiots
    who think they know everything.

    You say you understand, but you do not.
    YOu tell me you could help, but you can't.
    You tell me not to lose hope in thyself.
    But all hope is lost in the depths of the unknown.

    Now all that's left is this imperfect, pitiful world. But who am i to judge the unknown?
    Who am i to say what may become of thee?
    For I am the Darkness Queen
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    its just a suggestion. you can type however works best for you. but when you break it up, it makes it easier to read, and therefor easier to understand.

    with that said, the darkness is very powerful, and most people fear it. and people often fear what they don't understand. which makes the darkness very misunderstood. you did a wonderful job expressing your thinking process and some of your dark thoughts. and then your title makes a lot of sense.

    nice job, keep up the good work.
    ~Ben