Very sad peom.. :( I don´t know where here is for you.. I do know there are alot of sad places to be in the world So I can´t speak too much into what your saying.
But I do know, that your life means alot more then you think it does. And you deserve a beautiful future!
This world is full of fallen people.. and everyone is searching for one thing. (Some don´t even know it) The fulfillment of the one who created them! Maybe you´ve heard of these stories! Of Jesus, and his Father! And you think they´re make believe.. or fairy tales.
But its the very truth that this world needs to know!
Jesus loves you like a Father SHOULD love his children! And wants the very best for each of them!
I hope one day you will hear of him! Because he is a loving and life changing Father that cares about his children more than anything! :)