There are some grammatical mistakes in here.
"illuminate" i think should probably be illuminating
"collapses onto itself" should maybe collapses into itself and "There hungry" should definitly be they're hungry.
otherwise i did like this poem, i felt it should maybe be a bit longer but that is just me.
otherwise i have really liked the allegory and message in this poem. how they blind and mesmerise us with lies, untill it is to late and we get to the stage where we no longer know who we are. how we try to become some carbon copy of the people the media or whatever portrays to us, and so loose everything that makes us who we are, our soul.
so this is a very good poem, true and heartfelt. 5/5