Today I found a gift you had given me
Three Christmases ago now
Hidden in my closet with the old decorations
Cups of joy and left over candy canes
Waiting for their turn to be used
And it was like discovering the pain again
The way one does not realize they are hungry
Until someone mentions food
And then it's all you can think about
That wretched hole you've left in me
That I never could fill with anyone else
It dug and twisted and hurt
In ways I had taught myself to forget
But the heart never forgets old wounds
Even after we think we've healed
And it was remembering your hands
Your hands that touched it and placed it in mine
The way your eyes bathed me in adoration
Gave me moments of joy
When I never thought I could attain them
Remembering, discovering
And it still takes my breath away
Every time I think of you
