My Most Sincere Apology From the Bottom of My Heart </3

I'm so sorry i destroyed you,
Deprived you of living,
But everybody told me that you'd ruin everything.
I never thought that they would kill you,
I never wished for you to die,
They all told me it'd be easy-all they fu****ing did was lie.
I swear i was against it!
I promise i told them NO!
But they told me it had to happen, and before you'd start to show.
So me being a coward,
With them i went along,
Inside always knowing, that it was all so wrong.
Your father he was evil,
You were a reminder of the rape,
However you were innocent, i had no right to choose your fate.
I wish i'd held on stronger,
i wish i'd held on tight,
i wish that for you- i'd put up a better fight.
And everyday i wonder,
Who'd you have become...
Tall and strong like your father, or small and fragile like your mom?
What would've your voice been like?
And what about your hair?
Would you have had an olive skin tone, or would have you been fair?
Would you have been a boy or girl?
What eye color would've you possessed?
The fact remaining i'll never know leaves me feeling guilty and depressed.
I wish that i didn't let you die,
I wish that i didn't murder you.
I wish that i could go back in time and my mistakes undo...
I wish that i could go back in time and give birth to you.