I sit at the edge of the bed
My head buried in my hands
Tears slipping through my fingers
Bitter salt fills my veins
The scars will fade someday
But the memories will last forever
And each night I will sit here
Wondering why this has happened
In my sickness
Can you find me
Beautiful
I pick up the sharp razor
It only takes one slice
Digging to find the vein
Let my sorrow flood out
The blood is my escape
Each cut filled with regret
Each regret bursting with pain
There is no elude from it
In my sickness
Can you find me
Beautiful
Wrapping my hands around my neck
Swallow his twisted wrath
Forget what he has done
And look at what you have made
Gag until your filled with darkness
Let the emotions take over
With every single tear I've cried
Drown out every last one
In my sickness
Can you find me
Beautiful
Afraid to sleep at night
Awaken by a terrifying scream
Only to find it's my own
My whole body begins to tremble
Looking into the terrorizing darkness
My mind playing games, trying to remind
Myself that no one is there
The darkness swallows me whole
In my sickness
Can you find me
Beautiful
My hair flies all around my face
Standing out in the wind
My shoes covered in dirt
I look down upon my body
My clothes tattered and bloody
Corpse beaten and bruised
Left with nowhere to run
I lay and decompose into the earth
In my sickness
Can you find me
Beautiful
Plaster on my make-up for the day
Put on my fake smile just for show
There's no longer a sparkle in my eyes
Paint my lips an immersed red
Bring up my wrist, kiss it with my lips
Sink my teeth into the vein
Let the blood flow into my mouth
Eating away the rest of my sanity
In my sickness
Can you find me
Beautiful
Can't stand to look in the mirror
Only to see someone I am no longer
The girl I once was, is not me
Life has changed me in many ways
I keep asking "who am I"
I find no answers from anyone
I wander trying to find myself
Then I find myself lost all over again
In my sickness
Can you find me
Beautiful
With scars on my wrist
Bleeding out my pain
Bags under my eyes
Black tears on my face
Red marks on my neck
Clothes torn to pieces
Make-up covering my imperfections
I scream out "Am I beautiful now!"
