Words come to my tongue,
But to say them leaves my mouth sour and sore.
The heart ache I feel seems to poison me,
Why cant these unhappy memories leave me be?
My mind is never straight and my nerves are never settled,
Its like a train wreck in here,
Metal colliding with metal.
In here where no one else can go,
Its only me and those horrible thoughts of heart wrenching nightmares,
When these dreams and reality,
Ive made my selfprisoner in my own private lair.
I feel cut of from the world,
Socially complex,
Im anxious about whats going to happen next,
No reliability,
Its not much to want stability.
In a world where they say nothing is as it seems,
I can see straight through emotions,
Not knowing, or feeling what it actually means.
Happy ideology of the perfect stereotyped family,
How my body aches for this, the idea of this with me.
But I imagine my self, as if looking through the walls,
Not actually part, not included, maybe I am strangely deluded.
I see the world through troubled eyes,
In a troubled body that no longer cries.
I have lived through many years, or so it feels
I have found love and life,
But at the cost of loosing my self.
I had to leave her to look after my own,
She was a liability, damaged,
and alone.
