My eyes are closed.
I slowly turn my head this way and that,
so I can hear all around me.
I hear the crackling of fire, here,
and over there, farther away.
Rocks, rolling, and sliding against one another,
as though the earth is still moving.
I'm on my knees, my body trembling.
One hand is on the ground, to hold me steady,
and the other, up, in the air in front of me.
I feel the air, damp on my palm,
and dirt, between my fingers.
My breath shakes loose from my lungs.
Like the action of a child, shaking loose
the trance of frozen fear.
This breath is warm against my cold lips,
and mists in the air if front of me.
I inhale slowly, and let what sanity
I have left, gather itself into something stronger.
I look around me, and let the world in.
All is gray, and shadowed, and burning,
the life draining out of everything.
The earth is broken, and bleeding,
laid open to die, like the heart of a crushed man.
I stand, and walk to one of the fires.
I feel the heat against my face,
and it almost feels good, like hope, like before.
I look up, and the sky is gone,
the clouds hide the light, like a deathly veil.
The only light is from the fires around me,
I don't even know what burns.
I...I should know...what happened here.
I...I'm not sure I want to remember at all,
the reason, or reasons, of all that has become.
There...were people, like me... before all this
ever came to be, before the world stopped.
I remember...shouts, and screams.
People, in uniforms, running all about,
trying to...fulfill their last duties?
I was in...I was in this metal room,
all alone, after I closed the big, heavy door.
Lights all around me, and sounds of people,
coming from the walls, echoing around me.
I...was supposed to...do...something.
There was...this thing in my hand,
small, and hard, and gold, and bright.
It was...a key, yes, a key, in my fingers,
that I needed to...I needed to turn....oh...
