by No Need For A Name Nov 22, 2009
category :
Sadness, depression /
grieving, loss
Are we getting lost in the dark city |
by SolemnWish
If i had a nickel everytime someone said that to me...Id be one rich mother.....yuh no. |
by Chelsey
Are we getting lost under street lamps |
The flow was definately back and forth in this piece and it dragged on a lot actually. I have no idea what you were trying to do with your rhyme scheme as it was all over the place. First stanza you had 2 lines rhyme back to back then at the end you rhymed go with go. Further down you rhymed a couple plural words with words that weren't plural which makes them not rhyme. I understand its a song but you need strong verses and you just didn't have them. I gave it a generous 4/5 |
These are great lyrics If I had a dime for every time a lady said she'd be right back ..well you know.... this is priceless |