Hope, he says

C. january 2009

i've found me a new man
but i've thought that before
he's too good to be true
so i'm holding my breath for the worst
it's not fair
it's not good
but it's right for me
now
later it will be different
or it won't
we will see

i warned him
that's fair
that's good
he's going to have to work
i'm going to have questions
i've lost a lot of trust
but not hope
jaded, yes
but not disillusioned
it can't hurt to dream

but i have to say
i've never had a man this interested
truly into me
what i want
what i am comfortable with
what i need
that makes him happy

or so he says

i told him
slow and steady
that's the only way
i cannot be screwed over like that again
i will not be responsible
for my own repeated demise

i promised mom
i'll be single forever
if it means that i'll never
never
never
never
do that again
be that again
act that again

he says
nothing to worry about, sarah
i'm not like that
he says