Is this really me?

There's so much to be happy for,
So much to get vivacious about,
But I'm none of that.
I don't know why,
I just can't be happy,
I can't be myself.
But maybe this is the true me,
Maybe this is who I am,
Deep down inside.
A hideous,
Dark person,
Who is depressed beyond all reason.
If that's true,
I'm not who he thinks I am,
Not the person he loves.
God,
What's wrong,
With me?
What have I done,
What have I said,
To deserve this?
There's something wrong with me,
I don't know what,
But there is.
I don't know what to do,
I'm lost,
I need help.
I'm afraid,
I don't want to be like this,
But I don't know how to stop it!