Gives me the feeling you have been carrying a torch for someone for a long time and those feelings have surfaced again. Well done.

Time has melted my feelings,
morphing them back into
passionate desires and

*I loved how you said this. Very vivid but also has a sad feeling to it. Lovely opening.*

love I cannot transform,
concrete in this heart of mine.

*This part was confusng to me. It didn't flow from the lines above it well. Maybe if you said
"This love I cannot transform,
now concrete in this heart of mine"
Something like that so it doesn't sound so weird when you read it*

Your voice-- flamable,
one sweet word and these

*Instead of "these" I'd say "my" emotions. Sounds more personal that way*

emotions burst with love
permeating your heart a scent

*This line threw me off a bit. Should there be a "with" after "heart" or am I just reading this wrong?*

I still love you.

*I love how you end this. Very simple but still powerful. This line lets people know that it doesn't take a lot to tell someone you still loove them. A very sad but sweet poem. Nice work hun *hugs* Nik*

Temps
this piece is so emotion packed. How hard it is when we lose someone we were not ready to let go of. A love that strong usually stays in your heart forever. very heartfelt write.
Great job!
Love
Cindy

I really like this style, it reminded me of your latest poem. Especially the ending line, simple, standing alone, yet so striking it thought and emotion.

"Time has melted my feelings,
morphing them back into
passionate desires and
love I cannot transform,
concrete in this heart of mine."

I admired the idea of time melting your feelings, that was very good.

I have one suggestion though, it seems to me that it would read a bit better if you put something before "transform", it just felt like another word should be added before "concrete in this heart of mine" or a bigger pause. But it is totally up to you, I just wanted to be honest.

"Your voice-- flamable,
one sweet word and my
emotions burst with love
permeating your heart a scent
that releases what I've been
wanting to tell you..."

Loved the whole concept, again not cliche at all, so catchy but I felt like there were no breaks and that they would make it stronger. Maybe try this?

"Your voice-- flamable,
one sweet word and my
emotions burst with love,
permeating your heart, a scent
that releases what I've been
wanting to tell you..."

Just simple things like that, otherwise, fresh and breathtaking, nice work!

And of course the last line perfect!

~MaryAnne

Temps,

I have read this poem a few times now, and find it hard to think of the right words to say..it is a very personal poem and you are entitled to your own thoughts and feelings about this subject.

I have been around for 44 years now..and I have found that closing the door on yesterday is the only way to open the door to the future..I did and found something infinately precious once I got passed it..but that is not to say things are the same for you, I cannot know that...I hope you will have what you long for..either with the person you wrote this for, or with someone waiting behind tomorrow's door:)

God bless:)

5/5 Ingrid

Wow! What a short but powerful and passionate piece of write! Short and sweet as honey. I love this because the first line gave the impression of feelings melting away; disintegrating with time - but the rest of the poem clarified that the feelings have been melted and reshaped into an even stronger love.
I especially adore the idea of a voice being flammable. What great imagery and excellent word choices to describe intense adoration.

How nice. Days, years pass by, and we still continue to love certain people. This write is not ashamed to say it out loud and face the truth. A 5 for me Temps, lovely.

How nice. Days, years pass by, and we still continue to love certain people. This write is not ashamed to say it out loud and face the truth. A 5 for me Temps, lovely.

Aww... wow... beautiful! I love the description and how this short poem is filled with such deep emotions. Great job!

This is one of the most amazing poems I've ever read up here and I love it. So much. You practically spoke for my heart, words I doubt I'd have the capability to convey across. Wonderful job, 5/5!