Walking into the room
all eyes on me
my hair is cut short
and my eyes are black and blue
from the long night before.
My pants are sagging
my shirts are not tight
I wear no makeup
because that is what he likes
I say and do what he tells me
to say and do
Without any questions just so I don't
start an arguement.
My son always asks why I can't
do what it is that I want to do
I try to answer but I just
break down and cry.
how can I honestly answer that?
Walking into the room
all eyes are on me
I race for the door
with my head hung down in shame
There I go running to the bathroom
Here I am I lock the door
my pale black and blue face
reflecting into the small
bathroom mirror
and I realize that this is not even me
My eyes are no longer green;
My lips are no longer small,
My hair is no longer long,
and my clothes don't fit
all becasue of him.
I can't be mean
I don't want to be here
My heart is broken
and I get torn into pieces.
My son always
watches my tears pour
I am not me
so one hand wiping my eyes
and the other finds it's way into my
purse pulling out a gun.
My little hand gun
that I could never use on my husband
A knock at the door becomes louder than
It was a few seconds before.
There I stand my pale face
reflecting into the mirror
I take a breath and look at the note
sitting on top of the sink
More tears start to flow
and there I go fingers over the trigger.
There was the trigger refecting into the mirror
instead of my broken face...
