Hello my love,
for once...
It's different.
I love you.
God I hate that.
But here I am in this love thing with you and a million other people.
So unsure of what to do,
or even what to say.
So my dear,
love will always be a competition,
and I will always lose.
That's one of the few truths that I know.
11:11 make a wish.
I make the same wish every time.
But I still sit here unhappy.
Where will you go when your world crumbles in around you?
"I swear I'll never be happy again..."
How did this come to be?
Waiting on you is like waiting on rain in a drought,
it is very pointless and disappointing.
But here I sit,
just waiting for my heart to be shattered.
Why do I love you?
I know everyone is asking that question.
Most of them ask me.
But I can't really give them an answer,
because they really don't want one.
They just want me to realize I'm an idiot.
You were there for me sooo much,
now I don't turn to you.
Not as I should.
I turned to another.
And she caught me,
right when I almost hit rock bottom again.
I wanted to cut,
but since I haven't really talked to u...
at all...
You didn't know that.
It was a few days ago,
but I didn't do it.
All because she helped me.
I'm losing my head.
"shes not worth it, shes a b***h, shes this, shes that..."
I keep hearing it all.
But it doesn't phase me.
Because I don't care...
The reason...
Love.
Which I hate.
If you didn't know.
Because all three girls I've loved,
they've all broken me...
More than once.
I'm in waaaaay over my head.
thats a fact...
its also proven.
So here I sit,
blank,
because I don't know how I should feel about you.
What I should do...
Stay and wait??
Or just walk away...
My dear,
its one of the hardest decisions of my life.
So forgive me if I make the wrong one...
Because it might just happen.
sometimes it makes you stronger to just let go...
But if u know me at all...
You know I can't walk away from love...
So what do I do???
So blank,
confused....
Hating this thing called love.
