Without Deceptions

I can't write the words that leave you chilled.
My voice can't portray the emotions I feel.
I can't reach that octave in my screams,
I can't feel you there in the cool, empty sheets.

I don't want to know if you meant every word.
And I don't plan to tell you if I'm feeling hurt.
My thoughts are mine and they will not be shared.
But that's not because I don't think that you cared.

I'm disconnecting that part of myself,
Carefully removing and placing it on a shelf.
I'll dust it off and keep it looking new
But I'm reserving it for a much stronger you.

I'll make myself perfect and smile sincerely
AND WE'LL KEEP ON TALKING 'CAUSE I LOVE YOU FIERCLY.
Tears will fall and my wall will break down,
But I'll always be here for when you need me around..

If I can't give you more, then I'll give you less.
I'll do all I can and I swear to give it my best.
I'll be myself with those few exceptions.
And I'll play the game without lies or deceptions.

I intend to be honest and true to my word.
So erase every thought, everything that you heard.
Bona fide friendship with my new will to BE.
And, yes, all you'll get is a cold, censored me.