Comments : When You're Gone

  • 14 years ago

    by Sylvia

    What we do in this life will live on after we are gone so we should make the most of this life, live good, do good deeds. Well done.

  • 14 years ago

    by Dreamofolwin

    A wonderfully expressed piece... I loved this Sourav.. :) So full of hope, optimism and joy. A winner!... Well done.. :)

  • 14 years ago

    by Kurt

    This is a brilliant poem. I love the theme of staying positive and always living for a better brighter tomorrow. Well done.

  • 14 years ago

    by Courageous Dreamer

    That is so very true, that tomorrow is a new day & we need not look back on the past. Yesterday is the past, so we should live each day as it comes. A poem of the truth, and really nicely done.

  • 14 years ago

    by Cindy

    Sourav
    What a wonderful piece you have penned...and a message we all need to heed.

    Wake up my friend, sun is ready to rise
    Dawn has brought, may be a new surprise
    You cried yesterday- and yesterday has died
    Today is a new day, time for a fresh new ride

    How true your words are we are so busy living with the pain of our yesterdays we don't think about today.

    Open up the window, breathe fresh pure air
    A fine breeze is blowing, inhale your share
    Pick the flower of love, don't buy thorn of sorrow
    If you harvest well, the greener will be tomorrow

    I keep my window shut so much....and when I open it and let the breeze and sun inside it does give a new meaning to the day. Thank you for opening my eyes with your words.

    Smile my friend, brighten up your soul
    A step forward and you're closer to your goal
    Past is a shadow; in present the future born
    Your deeds will talk for you, when you're gone.

    What a lovely ending to a awesome poem. Great imagery!
    Excellent job!
    Take Care
    Cindy

  • 14 years ago

    by End Of Eternity

    I am glad that i didnt missed this beautiful poem. This one is a powerful package, it has it all one could ask for. Loved the theme, the message and the flow and moreover the way you said it all...just awesome.

    all the best and take care

  • 14 years ago

    by Lonely Rider

    //Dawn has brought, may be a new surprise//

    ^^ even i wait for surprise each dawn :) lovely line :)

    //You cried yesterday- and yesterday has died
    Today is a new day, time for a fresh new ride//

    ^^ very motivating lines these are... tears do not last long... let each day be a new day :)

    //Pick the flower of love, don't buy thorn of sorrow
    If you harvest well, the greener will be tomorrow//

    ^^ just loved the feel of it... to invest more on smiles than on sorrows... well penned :)

    //Past is a shadow; in present the future born
    Your deeds will talk for you, when you're gone. //

    ^^brilliantly penned... the message is loud and clear... beautifully ended... indeed our deeds will story even after we are gone...

    wonderful write :)

  • 14 years ago

    by Ingrid

    I liked this one a lot, Sourav..wise words we should all head.. the only thing I was not keen about is this:

    Pick the flower of love, don't buy thorn of sorrow
    If you harvest well, the greener will be tomorrow

    ^^
    this is very forced rhyming, I would just end it like: the greener your tomorow will be.

    It is far better to not rhyme than to make it a forced rhyme. Rhyming is not crucial in poems, not at all;)

    Well done nonetheless.

    God bless,

    5/5 Ingrid

  • 14 years ago

    by My Name Is Mouse

    Wow this was amazing i've had a rough day already and the day has only just started. I had suicide on my mind and this changed the dark hours. I'm bracing myself for the worst. Thanks so much. I loved it. It's saved as one of my favourite poems. Keep it up. Much love kelsea. xo

  • 14 years ago

    by DreamingOutLoud

    Uplifting and spirtitual ! This poem is a long defintion of hope and a path to self-fulfillment.