The quitter

by XxXcrystalXcontagiousXxX   Dec 5, 2009


Its happened again.
The same shameless
black sin.She feels ashamed
and weak.Look at her face
all the color is gone.Shes so
numb she try's to scream,
she try's to shout.

Her head is pleading.
She has no doubt.Why does
she get to be the prey stalked
by them everyday?Her heart
is racing,her head is pacing.

Every lie they have every told
is streaming down her face.
This time she is more then
useless.His lies taste so bitter.
She try's to move on,But she must
face the shame of a quitter.

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Latest Comments

  • 14 years ago

    by XxMoonLightxX

    Very well written
    I can picture the girl in my mind as how i would see her
    almost that black and white image that makes the sadness set in

    i feel her giving up
    this poem hits very close to home
    i saw one thing though

    "Every lie they have every told"

    i believe every should be ever

    just thought i'd let you know

    good poem 5/5!

    <3
    -MoonLight-

  • 14 years ago

    by DarkCrystalbtrfy

    Hmm you say shameless then ashamed? I like how it has a double meaning first how she is the prey stalked, sounds like maby a murder is comming for her, then it could also mean she is being bullied? then as well in the last stanza it says his so it culd be a boy breaking her heart. very good.
    My favorite lines were:

    Why does
    she get to be the prey stalked
    by them everyday?Her heart
    is racing,her head is pacing.

    5/5

  • 14 years ago

    by Hollymariee

    Try's = tries

    You need to format your poetry differently , because it's just so hard to read . You should allow all your ideas in one verse, like a rhyme at the end of each or something . Again , good flow but it takes alot of effort to get into it . I'll give you 5/5 ..

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