If this were really so, it would make me very sad MaryAnne....

You said it was written for a contest and so I have hope it is not really so that a boyfriend ( or any other male person) crushed your spirit like that. Men can be such pigs, eh?..I hope you did not run into one.

Beautiful wording, I could think of no better way to convey such a message..pure perfection in all your works, lil missie * bright smile*

God bless,

5/5 Ingrid

I was made anew in paradise
before you prowled along,
like the dominant alpha.

*I loved that you said "prowled" when I think of something prowling I think of a tiger or a lion and those are both dominant animals and I think the words "prowled" and "dominant" were good words to describe this person.*

My mind was set open,

*This sounded weird to me. It didn't flow from the line before well. Maybe something like "my mind was then opened" or "I forced my mind to open' something like that. I think the word "set" made it sound off.*

I used to see the fiery sun

*I think "use" sounds better than "used" *

But then midnight shadows
crawled into the dawning,
and scooped away its heart.

*Love the imagery here. Very simle but beautiful. For some reason I can picture a bird flying across a large plain or something like that lol. Lovely imagery here.*

I had to creep across cracks,
only to be flung off a cliff.

*Dramtic ending but I liked it. Very creative and well written*

My soul cannot be livened,
I am destined to be a prisoner forever.

*I like this ending. But I would change "livened" to "freed" or "saved" that way it ties into the the last line more. I felt you did a wonderful job with this. This poem had great flow and kept me wanting to know how it ends. I love the title as well, very creative. I'm glad I read this. Congrats on my contest and good luck on this contest. Nik*

A very nice poem. The only weakness I see is the ending line, for too many poems end with "forever" and I'm not an advocate of normality. The rest of the poem is filled with acute imagery, unique and striking. The combination of your word choices aids the imagery along nicely. I like the idea of the "dominant alpha" prowling. Very easy to picture. "The fiery sun dance into the morning" - what an excellent way to describe the way the sun glimmers and shimmers at sunrise. "Scooped away its heart" - I can just imagine a hand reaching into someone's chest and 'scooping' away their heart. "Fatigued gray rose" - though not an entirely unique image, it's still lovely (in all its ugliness).
Congrats on the win! You mostly won because this poem is FRESH. You have a different style & it's incredibly refreshing. A breath of clean air.
Keep writing!

What stood out most to me was the raw emotion put into this poem. I loved the fact that you kept your vocabulary sweet and simple once again, but at the same time saying so much. Thank you for two great reads. Perfectly written. 5/5

I am amazed