Dreaming

I've never felt like this before.
I could plant myself around
the world and I'd still
feel this lingering feeling.
Drying me up like a
sun dried tomato. My
vibrant colors will
leak through like sharpies
and I won't mean a thing to
you.

Why are you reading this?

Hoping to discover what makes
me so sad? So twisted? So f**ked up?
I'd tell you but I don't know.
It's not a secret or something
I cherish. It's just I don't
know what this is.
Eating away at me when
night time approaches. I'm
not even safe inside my dreams
where bunnies run and
I sing with unicorns. I'm one
acid trip from staying eyes closed
forever. Wonder if this "feeling" would
stay eyes closed with me.

I'm not okay anymore...

Do you ever dream of swallowing
butcher knives or walking
on shards of glass? Sipping gallons
of kerosene or tumbling off
roof tops? Well I do--
I'd do anything just to be
okay again.

But I guess I should keep dreaming