I like your poem, but i feel that it could use some work. For me, it didnt flow very well. I think that if you revised your syllable count, you could make it flow alot better. Other than that, you also need to decided if you want it to rhyme or not, becasue right now, it is all over the place. I think that is it, but if this is worked on, it could turn into a really great poem!

vetry cute but I agree with Jeri... jsut work on it a lil but its a very cute poem and I think its the best yet.. its so original!!!!!!!!!1111