Night of Your Life [Part II]

I really like this poem. I really hope I meet someone in my life that thinks like you do.

you'll have to let me know when part three is done.

Wonderful piece. Great job.

Good job. The voice in the poem sounds genuine and honest. I like how the poem feels like it's moving forward towards something bigger and better. Keep up the good work

I could say i really liked this and give some meaningless example and reason but i would be lying. it is not that it is really bad. it just isnt very original. there was nothing that really caught my atention and held it. my advice would be stop worrying about form and rhyme scheme and simply write what you feel. for a poem to be good it must be more than some pretty sentences that rhyme. it must have true feeling to it. now i am not saying you dont feel this way about this girl. just you did write it in a very cliche way. then again maybe you should just ignore me. every one else who commented seemed to like it, but my guess would be because it is that they are hoping you will give similiarly nice but meaningless comments back on there poems.

It just keeps getting better though part one was a tough act to follow

"I'll take you to places you've never been before
You have no idea of what I've got in store
Show you things that will make you believe,
In a love that lasts forever; an eternity
Just give me that chance..."

This was very real and grabbed the reader, I did read the first part and this seems to make it more complete and deep, intensifying the love.

"Take down your guard and let me see inside
Dont be afraid, for you have nothing to hide
But baby take your time, because I will wait for you
I'll show you that I am faithful, willing and true.
Believe me when I say this..."

"Dont" should be "Don't".

I really admired here how you talked about being willing and true and faithful....That is what real love is, doing what is best for your beloved. Good for you..

"Grab my hand and take this journey with me
Hope you're prepared to live out your fantasy
Because I'm prepared to show you real love
Overdose you with this charity sent from above
Are you ready for the night of your life?"

Love the question tagged on to the end, although it is a short end, it really has the reader with a phenomenal feeling. I did like the line "overdose you with charity sent from above", that spoke to me religiously and that you really really want to do what is best for her.

Well done, 5/5 from me.

~MaryAnne