My dried eyes wake to pronounced silence
permeating the atmosphere with a dead song.

*These first two lines seemed very sad and somber, but I like that they were first. I think that's a very strong way to open a poem*

I break off from what was

*I love how you use "break" here that's brillant.*

tying scattered thoughts together
while the kettle violently hisses
and watchful clocks emphasize
precious memories of the past.

*I like how simple this part was. More poem need this. Great imagery, game me a warm at home kind of feel to it.*

as I put on a winter's coat

*I think this should just be "winter coat"*

I step into pure angelic snow
nipping winds playfully teasing

*That's a beautiful image. I love the diction here too :) *

She bore the most celestial figure
that always swayed with grace
singing fruitful lullabies

*The diction here is strong as well. "celestial" I hardly ever see that word, glad yuo used it here. It fits perfectly.*

Hounds cry into the evening
and I am immediately reminded
her being great with child

*Should there be an "of" before "her" in the third line?*

My hearts moans in painful agony

*Should "hearts" just be "heart"?*

My soul wanders in chaos

*That line bothered me a little becasue you already said "my soul" I'm mayeb use a different word that means soul like spirit or something like that*

I realize every breath I take in
is simply a waste of space
committing the sin of omission
but then I recall her saying
lives were made for a purpose.

*I feel like that sometimes, Like I don't know what I'm here for when I rememebr the words of other people. I think a lot of people can relate to this stanza.*

My fingers reach anxiously 'cross
peppermint clouds in vain
hoping to catch maiden Sun
and draw her dangerously near
just to feel warmth once again.

*I love the detail here, I feel like I'm right with you. *

My spirit is zealous and eager
bestowing upon me willing strength.
My cracked lips open
forming the cherished words
"I love you for ages to come"
speaking with utter truth
straight from the core.
I listen as I joyfully hear
soft murmurs through evergreens
reassuring the concerns
and magically replacing them
amidst soothing remedies.

*This has to be my favorite stanza. You write with such tenderness that it makes yours words come to life for me. The imagery is breatking and really makes this poem a love story*

I leave behind distress
and join her figure in Heaven.

*This ending was lovely. You've done a beauitful job with this piece. I love the softness of your words and the beauty of your images. I love that you use all your senses as well. This was wonderful. Most love poems aren't as detailed and don't tell the reader all they want to know, but this one does. Brillant work dear. Nik*

This is one of the most detailed poems i have ever read. i really like it. You showed such great emotion and it was a well written piece. I loved the ending, I think it finished it off perfectly. You are a talented writer. Well done :) 5/5

I really really love this!!!! it was really great to read! please please keep writing. read my "scars" poem please? i need your feedback.