Have you ever wanted someone or something, but there was absolutely nothing you could do.
they all say "things will be OK, things tend to work them selfs out"
i have had it waiting around in this lonely nothingness around me all the time.
I'm not gonna start with all the mushy lovey dovey stuff.
I'm just fed up.
i know happiness is my choice, its in my head.
but why cant i get a little bit of help?
friends are there, shoulder to cry on.
but how much can i soak their sleeve?
i want to be happy, but feel like I'm in a deep hole looking up trying to figure a way out.
its been to long.
to long before i looked down at the hole, look back and saw it become a small unclear thing.
i cant live in this hole anymore.
I'm not going to do anything drastic, anything dangerous.
but i am at wits end.
I'm not faking it wen i smile with my friends, not faking it when i laugh.
but it doesn't fill enough, enough of this void i have inside me.
at the end of the day i feel empty, spent, ill, weak with pain.
the end is the worst of all for me.
the worse because no new journeys, no new choices to be made.
just to sign off and amuse myself for another miserable 24 hours.
I'm lost and weary and broken.
