Sometimes it is more peaceful
to create physical pain, to see the blood
or the bruise,
to feel the strain,
and to know that it really hurts.
Sometimes it is an easier path
to work through the depression,
and anger, and hurt.
It is a better pain to acknowledge
because I can see it. When it hurts inside,
I cant see it, I cant control it.
And it needs to be done.
Im a bad person because I do it,
I do it because Im a bad person.
Im stuck in a spiral that is twisting
and turning me in all directions,
and it is just easy, letting the wind pull me apart,
letting my body get lost in the current, as
the only way out is to be thrown.
If it kills me or cures me.
This cannot be normal
who would have known...?
When I smile the most
Living second to second,
and the pain just grows,
tension is building again.
