Nik
I found this piece to hold so much sadness within your words. This is a hard world to have to find yourself in.
Great job!
~hugs~
Cindy

"the war that won't surrender"

So true..a never ending war. Sounds like the world around us is crumbling, coming to an end whilst we are caught in a limbo.

This cycle that never
stops spinning, the war that
won't surrender.
^^ wow such beautiful and deep lines... these lines speak more than the words that form it ... beautifully penned...

I've seen life and I've seen death
but I don't know what I'm doing yet...
^^
beautifully ended... loved these lines...

Another wonderful write Nik. Your choice of words throughout this piece was pure perfection. You didn't use gigantic words like most do in order to write something meaningful and beautiful. Also, this was full of emotion and emotion is important.

To watch people live
to watch them die...

^^Just a suggestion, but I think you should insert a comma after 'live'. It is sort of running all together without it, and I think that it would sound a little better. But even if you don't, this was still an excellent write.

Overall, interesting write. I loved it.

5/5

--Kay Jay

To me its almost like this poem could be written through the eyes of God or of Satan. Like they view us all and watch what we do, what us die, watch us live but at timesh ard to distinguish from whats right and wrong. This really makes the reader think "who is writting these words?" Maybe its just you writing about a bad marriage or a relationship but it definately leaves it open for discussion. Nice job 5/5