Comments : Mind Block

  • 14 years ago

    by Stazifer Stazington

    I am in love with this poem.
    i could definitely relate to it.
    5/5

    it was simply ambrosia to the mind!

  • 14 years ago

    by KJ

    Thoughts to lost to see

    ^^Maybe you meant 'Thoughts too lost to see'???

    Overall, beautiful write. I believe that your choice to keep the vocabulary simple and sweet, made this piece even better. I say this a lot in my comments, but sometimes writers get caught up in the big, fancy words in order to make a poem sound wonderful; when the truth is that simplicity is wonderful all in itself. So I must say Loni, that this is an amazing poem from you. I wouldnt change a thing.

    Keep writing.

    5/5

    -Kay Jay

  • 14 years ago

    by Baby Rainbow

    Ahh, never really read much poems about writers block, this is very good.

    i give it a 4/5 because...

    1... the title was short and simple, it didnt give too much away about the poem so you had to come and read the poem to find out more.

    2. it is simliar style and layout to my poetry , and i like this style, i think its easy to read.

    3. you got the flow really good, as well as the rhyming. and it was a quick poem, no slurring or dragging lines.

    4. you punctuated the poem which makes it an easier read and shows you took that bit of time where other writers often dont.

    only suggestion for improvement would be to fix the first stanza 4th line...

    "Thoughts to lost to see"
    the first to should be too... as in too much.

    i related to this one, and i liked it very much, hope to read more, well done xxx

  • 14 years ago

    by Brittany

    I loved this one even more than i promise you can feel the emotion off the screen.
    :]
    :]

    Impressive!

  • 13 years ago

    by Bradley Peter

    Another good piece. I liked your subject matter. I'm seeing more and more people write about the process and trials of writing. It's interesting. I felt the third stanza was the strongest. I liked the idea of a loss of love in a pen, and writing a love poem, if you should love again. Very nice. I also liked the repetition of the use of 'pen'.

    Brad

    P.S. Please comment and vote honestly on every poem that you read.

  • 13 years ago

    by Alvaro

    I miss it.