A childs nightmare changes to reality (cancer story)

The darkness in those dreams one day soon became reality..
The pain of watching her suffer as she grew weak…
Watched her life passing away… waited for that horrid moment….
Those were the nightmares that kept that child up…

Then one day that chain of events from the world of darkness arrived
One by one unfolding in front of her very eyes…
How could this be true?
Time was passing in a blur… days ran together endlessly.

Scenery changed once and a while…
But that beloved one faded more no matter what was tried…
Doctors prepared the little girl for what was coming…
This little girl could feel her heart breaking every day just that little bit more
She watched the pain cross her loved ones face…
She could see the fear she tried to hide, sure it mirrored her own…

That little girl grew up so fast; she wasn’t a little girl for long
The darkness was closing in on her loved one…
Her voice had begun to fade much like her appetite had in weeks gone by
She had no strength left to fight; it all went into trying to breathe…

That little girl never left her side until told early morning to take a nap
She’d go home for a couple of hours to sleep then come straight back…
She didn’t want to leave her loved one a lone she was so afraid.
The one time her voice called out it was fear, she clung to her little girl
That little girl couldn’t understand why it was this way..

This was her mother she was losing, her very best friend…
For as long as remember she’d helped her mother
When sickness came she stepped up showing her love..
But those days in the darkness gave the little girl new nightmares
She saw how one could know the end was near and see the very fear that person held

That little girl tried to reassure her mother, tell her it would be ok…
Even the girl’s father tried, when her mother finally pushed her away from the pain
The girl’s mother wanted dearly to spare her daughter the pain she wanted nothing more then to protect her little girl…

That day the darkness made its grab, that little girl was having lunch downstairs
She’d told her mother how much she’d loved her til very early morning and then right through til lunch she’d stayed close, but not once did she ask her mother to stay, now she wonders if it could’ve made a difference, to ask her mother to stay with her.

This little girl by chance had her best friend with her that day, they cried together, as the moment dawned and doctors gave them the news
The little girls mother had died, the darkness of her nightmares had become her reality
No one can tell her that her mother is in a better place because there is no better place then being right by her side.
While they say her mother no longer has pain, and she does agree its true, she cannot begin to imagine why she had to have her mother die for her to not be in pain, because it meant she was in the greatest agony she could imagine…

How was this meant to be something she should be able to get through, its just not right…
Those old nightmares still swim around as her mothers voice speaks to her…
In her dreams her mother is alive and well then the darkness comes,
And one by one everyone is lost and her mother is the last to go…
Then she wakes to tears and the inability to sleep again…

This little girl has such a deep running scar..
Its no surprise she always looks teary
She lost so much in such a short time
And she could still lose more
But this time she wont allow herself the time of day for her thoughts to go there.

This little girls tragedy is indeed my own.
And little by far I was not
To my mother I was her special little girl, her miracle or life
And I always had a child’s heart with an adult mind

R.I.P Mum
To all those who have watched people they love die of cancer I'm so sorry