I feel the weight of the world on my back,
day in day out,
never ever changes,
i, who gives so much away,
feels like I'm been wasted away,
they, who are self centred,
never cared in their obsessive ways,
why do i even bother?
Sometimes, I'm better off away,
perhaps then, they may only begin to realise,
what cruelty they have inflicted on an innocent human being,
so full of life from the core and beginning,
and now, barely even 30,
i have already withered away in dreamy renunciation,
yet little still do they hold back,
on their demanding, ungenerous and negative ways.
I have even pondered perhaps,
i could really understand why some end up hurting themselves physically,
i used to think that i was safe,
that the very idea of even physically hurting myself was as unimaginable as the discovery of planet X,
but as depression and misery drills its way into my life,
i beginning to crawlingly understand that perhaps there is a rhyme and reason for why people do what they do,
maybe, it is only through pain that i might feel in control of my life again,
yet little courage do i have towards pain.
Why couldn't i just walk away,
to give up and walk out of the life of those,
whose only intentions are to unknowingly frustrates me, and belittle my life,
my life is not more than a hump of dirt for others to step on in order to make them feel their own worth,
why is it that i know it is so easy for me to escape yet i can't, that is the bit that hurts.
I feel so pressured, ripped off and cheap that i don't even know why i even bother to put up a losing battle.
How on earth can i even make others understand,
the deep seated frustration in my little meaningless life?
i need solutions,
i can't continue on with a mess i cannot mend myself.
