I need to leave this twisted black hole that had deprived my life of real sanity. all i feel everyday is cold numbing fire smoldering within, slowly taking over my body.i struggle to breath while choking on poisonous fumes that overtake and intoxicate my body and blacken my soul. i try to cry out but my insides are twisted and knotted into a horrible maze of confusing pain. what is it I'm holding on to everyday? what keeps me pushing on to see what comes of another day? I'm never to sure...even when i think i know...i don't. sometimes i wish some 1 would kill me or i wish to die in some kind of freak accident so i don't have to worry about doing it myself and awaiting my fate on the other side to be truly judged. i don't know if i should just live this miserable head ache of a life and accept i will never be worth others time? should i find some 1 to "fix" my problems even though I'm far to broken anymore to fix? i have so many questions...but don't know where to start or who to ask. i try asking myself...but my mind ether leaves me confused or my heart hurts with thinking about how to sort out my pain, memories, fears, thoughts, and nightmares. all it brings about is pain...cold pain...the kind of pain that makes my insides sting with the freezing cold regrets and frost bite from the scars people have left on my soul.
I am worthless...
i don't want to try anymore...
i have let you down.
