Voices of death

Voices try to rule me over
Never positive always negative
Sometimes i swear they are really in the room
Other times truly in my head
Sometimes they are more faded not so real
Those ones i can handle
The stronger ones seem like my true desires
Of not wanting to be here
Believing things will never get better
They want me gone like i want to be gone
Giving me ways giving me strategies
To take my final bow

When i try and it's not harder enough
They yell at me try harder
Knowing that i want to
Try to defy them think of my true friends
Knowing what doing what i may want
Will do to them
Can i feel like i am destroyed but keep them together
Is that enough reason to live

No i get told
That's not a valid reason
No one sticks around forever anyway
They are right and i know it
I take a blade out in front of her and she screams
Takes every bit of her energy to separate it away from me
Only the voices know what's right
That's for me not to be here

They get angry at me when people attack me
And i don't attack back
Too pathetic to stand up for myself
To weak to let the sting show
Lost deep in darkest sorrow
The day dawns nearer when my life will be over
It will hurt people but i will have to go