Silence, that's all that ever consumes me, anymore. This... this agony, this misery is living inside of my cold, bitter, and broken soul. I open my mouth to scream out loud ..... nothing but silence. I can feel my heart breaking. I'm beginning to forget what it feels like to be real. Because all I ever do anymore is, Fake smiles, fake laughter, and fake, that I'm not dying inside. I want to be immune to what you are saying, to how you say it, how your voice sounds to my ears, your touch and the penetrating shock I get when I look at you. Every part of me is burning, turning to ash and blowing away. What's the use in chasing after the wind? My heart feels cripple and my blood feels like ice cold water, my mind has gone and deserted me, and all the world has no meaning to me. My heart is constantly in my throat, and it stops my breathing short. and after all that! I miss you? yes, with every inch of my being. My tears won't stop, my aching gets worse, like an open wound that shows no signs of recovery, every second of living is slowly and painfully chocking me and killing me. I'll sit here and turn my head the other way, I'll smile that already rehearsed smile and I will hide all of this brokenness inside, where nobody can seek pity. What is it about your smile that causes my knees to go weak? What is it about you that I just can't run from? This... This twisted up game you have been playing with me has got to end, can we call quits or can you go ahead and pull the trigger? I'm destroyed, are you happy with yourself? Are you happy now that I have sunken so low that I am crawling under the ground you walk all over, everyday? Isn't that what you wanted? Me as your puppet? Well here are my strings, can you hang me with them? Disgusting, worthless, garbage that is the fool you made out of me. I honestly wish I never met you! Your my worst mistake!! then reality sets in and you also become my favorite mistake. So how about an applause? This show is over, This actors getting off the stage for good now, I'm leaving my fake smile and lies on set. Here I am, This is me. Not what you expected? Well go ahead and look at this painful expression, you created it ... If that sights just too much to bare, paint it black, and rip my heart out. I'll just waste away.
