Utopia [Villanelle]

This is lovely.

Utopia is a place in our minds and hearts
The soul of the city and state that is ideal
The heaven on earth portrayed in the arts
^^^
(This wasn't too bad; a little forced, but at the same time, it works alright.)

Ethiopia and Haiti are its counterparts
Unfortunate famine unfathomably real
Utopia is a place in our minds and hearts
^^^
(The last line seems forced, again, just so it fits with the rhyme; that's not right. One should NEVER force poetry to rhyme - it's an exrpession of our hearts, and nothing more.)

Same for the Third Stanza.

Forgiveness is the key, the freedom it imparts
Is given freely and it is impossible to steal
The heaven on earth portrayed in the arts
^^^
(I like this stanza. First off, the rhyming isn't forced and it MAKES SENSE with rhyming. Plus, you've made a really good point with just a few words - that's how you do it!)

And the last stanza. Shaky, but not so shaky it makes the poem fall apart. Even still, I liked how you reused the same two lines in the ending; it made it stronger and the shakiness go away.

Overall, a pretty good write. In my opinion? Put more depth to your poems; go farther than just the surface! And also, try to use punctuation for pauses; it emphasis's for the rreader and makes it spoken how you want.

Not too bad.

xTheEcstasyofSuicidex. 5.5

I definately think that everyone searches for that certain utopia, its different for everyone I guess most would say love. But then again those are probably the people who aren't starving or living in the streets. I see so many people my age with everything because they have rich parents yet they appreciate nothing. Makes me feel almost worse for them then the people with nothing, way to pathetic. Excellent work I loved the message behind this and I loved the unique style I haven't read much of this style but you set the bar pretty high 5/5