Comments : Hallways

  • 20 years ago

    by Aken Sol

    The flow and the message was powerful. The range of syllables per line is a bit wide though, ranging from 3-12. But it's a choice and maybe there was a purpose beind it. All in all, great poem.
    Aken Sol

  • 20 years ago

    by Sonya

    great poem...you really have a lot of talent. and the best thing is , the poem actauly means something and it just has that kick lol. but yea awsum job!
    -luv-
    me

  • 20 years ago

    by nikki

    great poem, really thought provoking, and very very interesting and well worded, put together perfectly and flowed very nicely except forfor one thing,

    A step More I took
    and I incredulously found
    an enormous stack of papers were bound
    to my back, so many papers

    just a thought, it might be better if it said, um,

    an enormous stack of papers
    to my back, were bound

    but other than that it was very very good, great work!

  • 20 years ago

    by Ten Feet Tall

    yeah i agree with elisabeth, it really leaves you thinking because it can be intrepreted in a variety of ways, at least i intrepreted it in a few ways. but it was very good, good flow, a few parts didnt seem to flow quite right though, but other than that absolutly great!