Feeling

So here's how it goes
I've learned there's a lot I'm sorry for
a lot I miss when I allow myself to feel
and god, don't you just force me
to feel it all.

touch me here, no there
don't apologize
it feels nice.
I'm comfortable in your arms
im safe, I'm loved,
don't leave.

we joke
I laugh, I find myself
the parts I lock away.
a couple jokes hit home,
"well fine, I'll just go back to Kansas,
all because of you"
you see it hurt, hold me close.
the laughter dies away.

hands travel up my waist
and honestly I'm thinking nothing
closer, closer, so close.
you're so gentle,
unlike so many.
I'm scared, but you make it okay.

you hurt me,
you heal me
you break me,
you've fixed me.

now I'm safe
and now I love
the way I didn't think
I'd ever love again

Jacob.