Wasn't sure what you were trying to do with the rhyme scheme it threw me off more than once. Wither and hinder don't rhyme neither do again and pain considering who we say it. Then above and today were totally different haha I still enjoyed the poem though and thought it was done pretty well. I would just suggest switching some words around or taking them completely out.

I think some things Karl said were right but I still liked this piece. It seemed very personal and full of true feelings which is what really matters to me. I think this was very well written and reveals a little about your life. Nice work hun. Nik

Great job =] I thought the flow worked very well!! if there were any mistakes like the ones mentioned above then they competly went over my head as I enjoyed the piece very much! Your wording was also extremly good 5/5