This poem has a very good story flowing throughout it =] I found it to be a very enjoyable read! The flow needs a little work here and there but overall this is a brilliant write! Great job

I liked the ending I thought it was pretty strong but for most of the other parts you just seem like your trying way to hard and forcing words where you shouldn't. Poetry isn't always about rhyming you have to feel the words in your heart and write them almost as fast as you feel them. Sometimes punctuation is good and sometimes it isn't. You can always add or take out words to help with flow and punctuation should only be where you want it to be its your poem. So for example start the poem like this...

A boy arrived without a friend,
Into a strange new land.
Wanted to write a brand new life,
But knew he'd need a hand.

Something like that which isn't forced and keeps the flow. You never want to just throw the first word in that ryhmes. Think of 5 or 6 words then choose the best one and write around it.

Let me know if you choose to fix this up I'll wait until then to vote :) nice work though you'll get it