Im just a girl lost in my mind searching for hope or some kind of sign my heart is confusing its the one thing i cant trust people tell me to follow my heart but i must say most times it only leads to boys who only think of lust they start off sweet and seem to really care and after i fall of course my heart they tear thinking of only themselves and their personal needs and satisfactions but what about me i dont really want that kind of action i just want love to love and be loved i want someone to really care someone to always be there im tired of the late night phone calls the heavy breathing and sighs i dont want to feel wrong everytime i look my parents and friends in their eyes i know i let them down by doing these lustful things of course they dont know they think much more of me i have alot of guys that like me and they all say the same im sweet and cute and i never seem to change im understanding and caring and i know how to love that what theyre looking for but also for lust they want a girl exactly like me somone so faithful but in bed a total freak but thats just not me i wont give you that much my body belongs to God i dont care laugh if you want this is what i feel what i strongly believe its the life i have always lived or at least tried to keep yes sometimes i fall i stumble and make mistakes but nobody is perfect we all will mess up someday ive had many battles with many fallen tears a billion and one heartbreaks from year to year if they say im so special and so different from the rest if im wifey material than why do they still do this they treat me like crap and push me away and then when i move on they come back and beg me to stay and some i do go back to its stupid i know but its not easy letting go of what you used to know i give them my time my heart and full attention God when will i learn the loving me is never their intentions i mean i know it deep down and ill say it aloud but when it comes down to it i still stick around i give advice i myself dont take ugh what a hypocrite if i know this why cant i change there is one boy so faithful and true who reminds me of Gods love and mercy everytime i feel blue hes so perfect and sweet everything i need but why cant i let him in i know he will love me he never talks about sex never looks at me lustfully he never treats me bad or makes me feel ugly who shows me how i should be loved and tells me what a treasure i am for i was made by a king the one who created the skies and land hes there when i need him he gives me attention he prays for me constantly and treats me like a princess but im so stuck on those bad boys the ones who are no good the ones who break my heart and treat me so rude i just dont understand this life i dont know where to turn i pray to God for help i know someday ill learn i know that God has a plan and a purpose just for my life a plan to prosper me and not to harm me a plan that is right i know me allows these things to happen not to break me but to make me to help me grow stronger so i can better handle the next thing
