Revolution of Self

There is a man on the moon laughing at me
Watching me struggle
Waiting to see if I can free myself
Start living these dying dreams

^^ I seriously loved the personification you used in this stanza!! Who would of ever wrote about the man on the moon being real?? I thought it was really creative!

I loved this write! But it also brought me sadness because it gave a sense of someone making fun of your dreams...good thing that man on the moon isn't real..dreams aren't funny..they should always be chased after! :)

Excellent write!

I just commented on your poem "the deteriorating mind" and it made me want to read more of your work. Again, your imagery amazes me and really pulls me into this piece. The first stanza is absolutely my favourite, especially the line "veil of my heart and soul." A part of me can really relate to that idea. Also to the idea of "dreams nailed to the walls like pictures" that I think almost everyone can relate to at some point in their lives. It's just important to remember that it's never too late to take them down off of the wall and fulfill them. The only thing I would change about this poem is the line "there is a man on the moon laughing at me," I really like the idea behind it, it just seems a little long-winded compared the rest of the poem which is really clear and concise.

5/5, fantastic work again.

xXx

Dreams nailed to walls like pictures

^^
amazing,amazing,amazing
i read it 3 times
just beautyful.

First off, I'd like to start my words by saying your title lingered in me, it had something that automatically drawn me in to the poem.

I love your opening line, poems starting with "Oh" usually catch my attention, I don't know why lol..perhaps because they show pain/passion/desire from the first line.

"There is a man on the moon laughing at me"
^
I loved loved this line, the image is so dwelling in me. Well done.

"Dreams nailed to walls like pictures"
^
Also this one, great imagery Jenn :-)

One thing that I did not like in the poem was the ending, pretty vague for my sight.

However, I love the piece!
Write on~