Reminiscing

I thought back and remember when
I knew we were friends
couldn't hide what I felt then
I would have went to the end

I'm on Earth to make you happy
and to fill you with smiles
because it makes me feel alive
just for that little while

Felt like a child when I was with you
and we didn't even kiss
Wanted your lips, but
respected you enough to resist

You had my heart,
I waited around forever it seemed
you said you loved me,
but something got destroyed in between

You say you made an effort
and I wasn't doing that
I use to walk daily to see you
and you know that's a fact

I use to call you on the phone,
simply to hear your voice
You were my angel,
I loved you like I didn't have a choice

You use to date these stand up guys
who'd cheat, deceit, and lie
Then ask me, "what should I do?"
and all I'd think is, how I need you

"These guys are a waste,
you should just choose me"
is what I keep thinking,
knowing it'll never be.

Now, are we friends?
We barely even talk
It will be hard to love again
but I have a strong heart

I see that you're doing fine
and that you're happy with him
I'm probably hardly on your mind
our lights finally dimmed

Your new friends can advise you
help you through your struggles
brighten your life a bit
darkening all your troubles

I can't say that I'm mad,
Just a little bit bitter
Because I see myself giving up
and I've never been a quitter

I was foolish and thought
what we had couldn't be touched
but guy after guy I watched
our friendship slowly get crushed

I don't know whether to talk to you
or to leave you alone
That's why when you texted me
I didn't answer my phone

So many nights I sit at home
thinking of you and it's wrong
because my love was so strong
and now it's basically gone

I didn't write this to make you cry,
or bring you any pain
I wrote this to say I love you
and I'm sorry things changed

You got older, I got older
my hearts broke no doubt,
Even though you turned the shoulder
You're still all I think about

I sit at night reminiscing
since it's all I can do
travel back in my mind
when our love was so true

Stephen Andrew GreenLeaf 2010