I got a chance to get to know one of them
The darker one of the two
Greg and I had a relationship
That's how I could tell this story to you

so thats my fav part it seems like we feel that we have gone through hell and back until we hear someone elses stroy.
this reminds me of me and my sister,,, we both had another sister who wanted to kill us and got in fights and ran away from us, she took it so well but i didnt i did the same things greg did.
but in the end me and the sister who went through some of the same things as me became closer,

but this poem is really good you can see them growing up together your flow was awesome and it had a good beat. so nice job just be careful with not putting stuff in there that doesnt go, like the sexual active teen part, other then that is was way good
5/5
-Courtney
**and if you will you should check out my poem its called never a neverland**

I found this to be inspirational. Overall, this poem has great potential, but it could be made more powerful. May I make a few suggestions?

When I read this, I get the feeling that you are trying to tell the story instead of write the poem. So perhaps instead of adding end-rhyme and calling it good,..you could transform this into a large-scale mixture of poetic elements.

This real life experience obviously means something to you. Fortunantly,..some people can't relate to what is happeneing in this poem. So if you made it a bit more general so that a wider group of people could connect to this experience, it would end up on favorite's lists.

Like I said,..the potential is there. :] This story of these brothers is touching and deserves to be read by many. Strive to achieve something great that everyone will love to read. If youd like my help just ask me.

Respectivly,

Zack

Omg. that's deep. <333
I totally couldn't look away

This is really intreaging and heartrending. I can't believe it is true! Wow!

Very good very good :) 5/5 well written as well

Omg I think it's been said by the above. This is amazing n nicely written

5/5 from me :) xx

Very deep and heart-wrenching...5/5