Comments : Murder they wrote

  • 14 years ago

    by Aureus Argentum

    That's deep. I like it. :-)

  • 14 years ago

    by AngelsTears

    I loved this one!! Your work really made me entranced. ^U^ I will continue to expect good work, because you did a great job.

  • 14 years ago

    by Love Bug

    I Agree that's deep, but I loved every word of it. you have a true passion for writing and I do agree you are different from the rest, because this seems new to me from anything else I have read. Keep the good work up :)

  • 14 years ago

    by Nobody

    I really like this poem but you need to run through and edit.
    the second line it should be "They departed"
    instead of "they depart" because you are writing in pass tense.
    make sure you delete unnesscary commons they make the poem sloppy and hard to read
    also the same with words that are not correctly spaced.
    Be sure to write out the whole word because it makes it easier to read, and makes the writer (you) sound mature.
    Over all though I found the poem sharp with etched with hidden meanings. Just be sure to edit because simple mistakes can take away the focus of the actual poem as well as its intent.