Comments : Forbidden

  • 12 years ago

    by Sparkling snow flake

    I really like this poem!
    the passion reveals itself from the depths of the heart!
    I like the pacing of the poem, how the commas are used to create the pausing effect between the words of each stanza.

    "I cant touch,I just but stare"

    I think this last sentence in the first stanza might need editing... Is the but meant to be there?

    "Indulge me
    let currents of yourself
    of your untamed passion consume me
    be an inferno that engulf my person"

    I really like this stanza! the word choice is passionately vibrant and takes the reader on the same journey you are taking!

    "in a universe of your own heart
    dancing to the music of your soul"

    I also like this part! I love the emotions and the word selections they are very unique and create a picture in my mind when read!

    Overall I really enjoyed reading this poem emmax hope to read more soon!
    you are a great poet!

    5.5 from me!