Stone's Throw

by Melissa   Apr 1, 2010


At times your love feels...............................far away,
with its promises of rays
while bellowing thunder
(it must be storming
where you are)

You're like spring,
minus the daffodils-
a vacuous meadow
not yet taken root

and here I am,
weathering winter
with a pen
that knows nothing of
survival,
only happenstance

Yet somehow,
I grow a lei of words
between each bre/ak,
in spite of frost

but you're too....................................far
from poem,
to see its imagery

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Latest Comments

  • 14 years ago

    by Melpomene

    Melissa,

    a few days a go I was discussing with a friend on this site that i've been struggling to write as of late, we were talking of inspiration and we came across a common factor, we both turn to you for inspiration.. I know I am not a constant commenter on your work but I absolutely never stop reading.. You always impress me with your elegance.

    I like the fact that you have been experimenting within your poetry. Usually I am not too fond of use of words written like the would represent their meaning, however I didn't have a problem with it here.. I liked how you used the far away at the beginning and the end.. I just wasn't as fond of the "bre/ak" even though I thought it was clever. I guess it distracted my eyes for a moment, but I still found it to be a distinction in the poem which made it interesting..

    The first stanza was my absolute favorite. It was lovely..

    The only thing that I was unsure of in this poem was the word "happenstance" I felt like somehow it made the flow uneven.. I think something such as coincidence would be a little better but I understand what you mean about using the same words over and over..

    Other than that I adored this piece, how could I not? you write and I feel it. That is what I love about your poetry.

    Well done.

    -Mel.

    By the way, i'd like to thank you for the comment you left on my poem.. I appreciate it. As I mentioned above I have been struggling as of late to write without using the same themes I usually do or the same words, it is like a war within myself lol.. but i'm trying. Thank you once again.

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