Only for You...based off my book

Ive roamed in the silence for far to long,
captured by the endless disease of always losing-never to belong,
No one understands,
Ive been trapped by the deeds of shame,
captured by the hands i once believed only to be dropped-to bleed,
How could i live?
while your trapped in an endless grave,
soaking up the earth as i roam the earth free?
It hurts to move on,
as people say,
never could i imagine that the heart could stand so much pain,
But i fight!,
only for you,
I still live!,
only for you,
for you let the ending pass me by,
as the final seconds corrupted our lives,
you didn't let me die,
as i let you,
i pulled the trigger,
only for you...
Forgive me!
as i roam in the silence,
only for you.

(This poem is based off the book i am currently writing-called Saftylock. I understand if this poem is confusing so if you have any questions about it please feel free to leave a comment and ill be glad to answer you back. Thank you)