That's my whole ordeal!

I'm sick and tired of this bullshit,
It needs to quit, somethings I have to forget, Why?
because I've been through my own type of differences.
I've been a playa, now I don't want to play those games.
I've searched for love for so long,
I've been overdue for a change in my life,
To gain a wife, my own personal paradise,
Would be off the chain, because that's my own thang,
but people still want to play games with my brain,
And that's one thing I hold dearly,
Really close.
I don't think selfishly,
I just hope that people would relish the way that i feel,
It seems surreal that's just how i feel.
I don't want my dream to be killed,
but i do want my destiny to be fulfilled,
and do what I feel would be God's will.
That's my whole ordeal.