Comments : Waiting

  • 14 years ago

    by Robie Lincer

    I would say this a good poem, considering it's more like ur 1st time writing... but try to put less words in ur poem...

    because as i was reading, i got stuck on this phase:

    "Waiting for you to hold me in your arms
    Waiting for me to feel safe in them
    Waiting to see you are falling for me in your eyes"

    especialy the last line...
    so try to put more of the importand words in the poem, instead of adding alot of

    "see, are, to, for"

    i'm not saying not to put them, but not alot :)
    and your poem would be amazing...
    keep up the good job

  • 14 years ago

    by tainted melody

    Well I think I already commented on this once but, recently It really applies more to me .......and as you know I can totally understand waiting lol^_^

  • 14 years ago

    by Robie Lincer

    Much Much better... see i knew you had it in you =)

    love the flow, it was just perfect... you put a smile on my face :D

    5/5

  • 13 years ago

    by RynZelara

    Ah, the natural impatience of attraction and emotional connection....everything can seem like an eternity when it involves a love interest. Of course, if it IS an actual long time, sometimes that's just too cautious. xD