Slowly as I was taking those footsteps..
I thought about it a million times..
is it the right thing ..?
telling myself ... there is no coming back..
If I take one more step ...
I'll be gone ..
gone to another life..
where there is No " You" ...
where there is no that beautiful smile every morning ..
where there is no more of you're stupid amazing jokes anymore..
where there is nothing to remind me of you ...
I grab my keys ..
and start walking towards my car ..
should I leave ??
My heart doesn't help me at all..
its numb ...
its just beating for my survival ..
i didn't give me any signs..
or anything to stop me from leaving ..
I guess it was too hurt ..it couldn't do a thing ..
I was surprised how it kept on beating ...
I opened the car..
sat inside ..
turned on our favorite song..
a flash of memories came in front of me ..
my gosh..
they were like a fairytale ..
they were amazing...
even the seconds..
the small moments..
were worth a million dollars ..
I couldn't cry ..
I didn't know anything at that moment..
I was so confused..
I turned on my car ..
gave one last look backward ..
and drove so fast ..
i wanted to speed..
so I can get away from that scene of memories..
they kept on following me..
I kept speeding and speeding..
till I got to a dead end..
I stopped..
tears were in my eyes..
I am gonna miss you ..
I am gonna miss everything..
I am gonna miss it all ...
no matter where I go..
no matter where I end..
those beautiful memories we had..
will keep playing in my head when im alone ..
and you're voice will stay that soft melody in my head..
and you're name will be that special reason for me to smile every now and then...
I just wish I could go back and run in you're arms..
and hold you so tight for the last time...
and tell you how much I love you and how much you meant to me back then..
but here I am saying it in my poems..
in my head..
in my heart ..
everywhere I go..
