Off My Chest

Sometimes theres a lot we have to get off our chest & no matter what way we do it it's always a really nice therapeutic release for us and makes us feel better.

Thanks for
ripping off my fairly new
wings. I guess I won't
be reaching my dreams tonight
^
If you only knew how much i relate to this:)

It feels good to release emotions
Doesn't it?
Very well done
Nice Flow.
YOu never fail to amaze me.

First of all, I really liked the title. Mainly because when I began to read the poem the meaning of the title stuck out. You used great imagery to portray the inspiration for the title, which is something I love to see in a poem, everything should relate and compliment each other.

Secondly, There are some bits that personally didn't flow that great with me. In the second last stanza a bit more punctuation is really needed. I understand why theres little, if none, punctuation but at certain parts, such as, "wondering pondering" could do with pauses. Just an opinion. Alsoooo, "Not open arms or support
not even anger. I found nothing."
For some reason, and it is most likely just me, but as i read this I HAD to reread it because I kept reading it as "Not open arms or support.
I found nothing. Not even anger."
I think this works better due to the first line of the next stanza and your use of the word "wasted". Its quite a..bitter, angry word. And having anger mirror it helps connect the stanzas, you know? And also the short sentences, and short stanza creates tension which is pretty much a base in this poem.

"It's a load off to get
this mountain of feelings off
my chest"
This sentence seems crowded. The use of "off" twice makes it akward. Maybe try rearrange? You can still get your point across but smoother.

Maybe put a "?" at the end of the final line? Rhetorical questioning always interests a reader. Also, I enjoyed the last line. It completely relates to the entire poem including the title. The poem is like a stream of thoughts. At first, You're giving the impression that all these things are what you need to get off your chest, but the final line shows that the most important thing is "without you", and the question of does anything matter without you.

The imagery in the first stanza was lovely, by the way. (:
Fair play
--Lisa.

As Sylvia said it is better to feel like this about someone rather than spending a lifetime with them. Any who, you portrayed the emotion in this poem beautifully and the flow was nice as well. A sad piece but a good one at that. Keep Writing.

Oh god this sounds familiar. they often tells us that in the end everything will be better. and i often times find their words to be empty, just like me.

Not open arms or support
not even anger. I found nothing.

thanks for sharing.
~kuro