Hunny you need
To devide the poems in stanza's
And check the grammar.
Its a bit diffucult to understand what you are trying to say
And Cut the '>.<'
From the end
It looks really unpoetic
And Childish
I know you can do way better.
The title is very eye catching though.
Oh And I'm Dominican To :)

I really liked the story line about it. Good choice of words....the only advice i would give u is to divide ur poem up into stanzas. It will make it easier to read.=]. I loved how u compared a person to glass because its true. we are all fragial.

good job,

victoria

Let me try and re-organize this for you.

I'm so delicate, I'm so fragile,
kiss me and my lips fall apart.
I'm still broken, since you left me
it'll hurt 'till i get repaired again.

you're lesson is, mess with me.
all you do is get cut.
my lesson is, follow him,
i get hurt, killed again
going to heaven once.
hell twice.

I don't want death
to be part of my life.
I don't want life
To turn into glass
my lips are not repaired.

^^^i took out some lines to make more sense. do you see how i seperated the words, and used commas and periods for pauses?

Very well said, i really like this poem.
5/5

I really like your way of writing, abridged stanzas, the inconsistency of the lines of each stanza, the extraordinariness in general, they make the poem all the more interesting. Just imagine if all our poems are all alike, BORING! Anyways, I think you did good in this one, no, very good :) Keep in touch.

Rock n' roll and blessed be!