by Shinobi Apr 11, 2010
category :
Sadness, depression /
about depression
Where oceans once flowed , sand remains |
Once again I'm not entirely sure why you switched the rhyme scheme and missed a couple along the way. Second and third stanzas threw me off big time when opposite lines didn't rhyme...not even close. Poem isn't terrible and has some relevance to everyone or should, but I gave this an honest 4/5 Needs some work |
This poem is awesome. I would not change a thing. The poem has everything I love in a poem rhythm, rhyme reflecting though prvoking depth |